I just cannot handle this anymore.. all me and my boyfriend do is argue.. like it’s either he wants to have sex (or everything sexual except actual sex) or we just argue…like I’m sick of feeling like a sex toy. once we do something he’ll find a reason to leave or something. I’ve been down this road once before and I do NOT want a repeat of that…just I’m ready to just be done. Sometimes I wish he would just break it off so then I wouldn’t have to have internal conflict about it..At least if he ended it I could get over it in a few days..not feel guilty about if I made the right decision or not..
So I went and visited Takunda today…it was hard. Me and him were never really that close, we’ve just been neighbors. But I don’t know, it was just hard seeing him..seeing how miserable and depressed he was. He’s such a sweet heart, he doesn’t deserve any of this. I have his back through all of this, no matter what, but there’s only so much that I can do. I just wish I could make this all disappear for him :(
Life just really sucks! Prom was shit, my boyfriend’s sick, his mom tried to commit suicide last night, I’m emotionally confused to the MAX right now, senioritis is kicking in like nobodies business, and I’m just exhausted!! Gahh!! I want to sleep and not wake up for 3 weeks!!
5 DAYS UNTIL SENIOR PROM!!
I am sooo excited!! I’m actually going to have a date :) but freaking my best guy friend (or the guy who I thought was my best guy friend) is going to prom with one of my best friends (her name’s abbie look her up http://apples-2-apples.tumblr.com/). And freaking, my guy “friend” told one of my friends that he’s going to try to “get with” Abbie the night of prom!! and my friend told him that if he doesn’t ask then it’s rape and he fucking said “well it might just happen” Uhmm hell no!! That’s not fucking okay! I’m pissed at him, don’t ever want to see him. My boyfriend wants to kick his ass, and Abbie doesn’t even want to go to her senior prom anymore because she’s scared…like who the fuck does that? Like what the fuck?! ughh! But yeahh it’s dinner time so I have to go and eat steak :)